Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

[Verse 1]
Santa's stressed out as the holiday season draws near
He's been doing the same job now going on two thousand years
He's got pains in his brain and chimney scars cover his buns
He hates to admit it, but Christmas is more work than fun

[Verse 2]
He needs a vacation from bad decorations and snow
Mr. Claus has escape plans, a secret that only he knows
Beaches and palm trees appear night and day in his dreams
A break from his wife, his half-frozen life, the elves and that damn reindeer team

[Chorus 1]
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
He thinks about boat drinks and fun in the sun
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

[Verse 3]
Plastic creations and crass exploitations aren't good
He wants to go back to simple toys made out of wood
Just for the weekend, he'd like to be Peter Pan
Get out of his long johns and dance with a sword
Dance with a sword in the sand

[Chorus 2]
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
Marimbas, kalimbas, he's playing steel drums
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

[Chorus 2]
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
Marimbas, kalimbas, he's playing steel drums
Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

[Chorus 3]
Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum
Santa's run off to the Caribbean
A week in the tropics and he'll be all right
Sporting a tan as he rides out of sight

[Outro]
Merry Christmas to all, and to all good night
"He'll be back in a week, don't worry kiddies!"
"He just needs a break. We all need a break."