Hit the Switch

[Verse 1]
I'm staring out into that vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing that's alive
I'm all there is
And I start attacking my vodka
Stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stoplights
You seem ready to walk
You know I'll call you eventually, when I wanna talk
'Til then you're invisible

[Chorus]
Cause there's a switch that gets hit
And it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks
Maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them. I feel nothing, nothing

[Verse 2]
Well, I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west
I got a friend there, she says
"Hey, any time."
Unless that offer's expired, I have been less than frequent
She's under no obligation to indulge every whim
And I'm so ungrateful, I take, she gives and forgives
And I keep forgetting it

[Chorus]
And each morning she wakes
With a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed
In her beautiful mind
I said "I'll trade you one
For two nightmares of mine
I have some where I die
I have some where we all die."

[Verse 3]
I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I said that a couple times
And I'm always changing my mind
Well, I guess I am
But there's this burn in my stomach
And there's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning's clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite

[Chorus]
But the night rolls around
And it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way
You just have to live
And so I do what I do
And at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more, mean more?