🦀HIS DICK IS GONE🦀

Once upon a time there was a fine young man travelling the seven seas. He was young, he was wild and sometimes a bit impatient with the girls. One day he met an old lady in a dark corner of a tavern
She had an apple. "Eat this apple", she said, "eat this apple and you will get rid of all the problems you will have with girls." And so he did. He waited. He waited for the apple to take effect. But then hе felt there was somеthing terribly wrong. He stumbled, he tried not to fall but the pain was unimaginable, and then...

AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF
HIS DICK FELL OFF
HIS DICK FELL OFF
YES
AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF
YES
HIS DICK FELL OFF

Devastated and deprived of his manhood, he lost the will to carry on
But then, he heard an ancient legend about a mystic animal which was set to hold the cure for his problem. The only thing he needed to do was to touch the horn of the...

GOSHISMYDICKLONG UNICORN

He instantly set sail, went to Moon Island, found the beast and after a long and furious battle, finally touched its horn
The curing process started immediately, in fact, the growth was so immense that from that moment on he was known as the Three Legged Pirate
He sailed back to the tavern, searched for the old lady and then...

THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT
THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT
AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF
YES

[Outro noise transitions into the AOL dial-up noise]

AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF