Hermione

Granger, you're a snotface
You think you're such a smartie
You were talking smack about me
At the Deathday party

It was bad enough
That I didn't get invited
If you turned into a cat
Again, I'd be delighted

'Cause I hate your giant beaver teeth
I hate your bushy hair
And that Weasley kid sure likes you
But we know there's not much there

Chorus
Hermione
Why are you mean to me?
Some people like you but I disagree
Hermione
I'd rather hug the Whomping Willow tree
You smell, here, have some potpourri
Hermione
Your name rhymes with pee
I hope you get stung by a killer bee
Hermione
Oh, can't you see?
You smell like poopy

Hermione, I hate you
You're such a filthy prat
It was funny when the Polyjuice
Turned you into a cat

Why do you always use my toilet
When you brew your potion?
If I could, I'd drown you in
A giant vat of lotion

'Cause I hate your giant beaver teeth
I hate your bushy hair
And that Weasley kid sure likes you
But we know there's not much there

Chorus