Her: The Chat Room

INT. THEODORE'S APARTMENT - EVENING

Theodore sits on the sofa, his half eaten burrito in front of him. He's playing a video game: a 3-D hologram that fills his apartment. His avatar is in a surreal, foreign landscape. He's trying to trudge his avatar through sand dunes and keeps getting stuck. He's getting stressed out.

INT. THEODORE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Theodore lays in bed. After a beat, he closes his eyes.

INT. CATHERINE AND THEODORE'S TINY BEDROOM - DAY - FLASHBACK

Theodore, younger, and CATHERINE (20s) move furniture in their bedroom. The bedroom is tiny and cluttered. It's obviously a couple's first apartment.

Cut to:

Theodore is on a tiny balcony. A few feet away, Catherine is in bed.

CATHERINE
(sweet and cute)
Rabbit. Come spoon me.

Theodore, smiling, gets in bed and spoons her. Quick cut off of her smile, to --

Theodore lays on the ground with Catherine on top of him. She's pretending to choke him.

CATHERINE (CONT'D)
I'm gonna fucking kill you, I'm gonna fucking
kill you! It's not funny, don't laugh. I love you
so much I'm gonna fucking kill you!

INT. THEODORE'S CURRENT BEDROOM - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

Theodore opens his eyes, unable to sleep. He just lays there. He reaches for his earpiece and puts it in.

THEODORE
Go to chat rooms. Standard search.

TEXT VOICE
The following are adult, female, can't sleep
and want to have some fun.

FEMALE VOICE #1
I had a really bad day at work and I can't sleep.
Is there anyone out there that can talk?

THEODORE
Next.

MAN DOING WOMAN'S VOICE
Oh, hi. I just want you to tear me apart.
I really do--

THEODORE
Next.

SEXYKITTEN
(shy, cute girl voice)
Hi, I'm here alone, and I can't sleep.
Who's out there to share this bed with me?

THEODORE
Send message. I'm in bed next to you. I'm glad
you can't sleep, but even if you were, I'd have to
wake you up from the inside. Send message.

Theodore waits in the darkness for a response.

TEXT VOICE
SexyKitten has accepted invitation from
BigGuy4x4. Chat begins now.

A chime sounds.

SEXYKITTEN
(shy, sweet, sleepy)
BigGuy.

THEODORE
Hi.

SEXYKITTEN
Really?

THEODORE
Well, studmuffin was already taken.

SEXYKITTEN
(laughs)
Yeah.

THEODORE
So you're sexykitten, huh?

SEXYKITTEN
Mmm, well yeah. Hey, I'm half asleep.
Do you wanna wake me up?

THEODORE
Yes. Definitely. Um... are you wearing
any underwear?

SEXYKITTEN
No, never. I like to sleep with my ass pushed
up against you. So I can rub myself into your
crotch and wake you up with a hard on.

Theodore smiles.

THEODORE
It worked.
(beat)
And now my fingers are touching you all
over your body.

SEXYKITTEN
(getting more turned on)
Fuck me! Now! Please!

Theodore is touching himself.

THEODORE
I'm taking you from behind.

We see abstract visions of a woman on top of him. The woman is the pregnant, sexy daytime television star he was reading about online earlier.

SEXYKITTEN
Choke me with that dead cat!

THEODORE
(breathing hard about to climax)
What?

SEXYKITTEN
(fully into it)
The dead cat next to the bed. Choke me
with it!

Beat. He's taken out of it.

THEODORE
(uncomfortable, trying to play along)
Um, okay.

SEXYKITTEN
Tell me.

THEODORE
I'm choking you with the cat.

SEXYKITTEN
TELL ME! Keep telling me!

THEODORE
I've got it's tail and I'm choking you
with the cat's tail.

SEXYKITTEN
YEAH, YOU ARE! FUCK! TELL ME!

THEODORE
I'm choking you and it's tail is around your
neck. It's so tight around your neck.

SEXYKITTEN
YES! YES!

Theodore doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want to offend her.

THEODORE
I'm pulling it. I'm pulling it. The cat's dead. It's a
dead cat around your neck and I'm pulling it.

SEXYKITTEN
AHHHHHHHHHHHH. OH MY GOD!

Her breathing is slowing down.

SEXYKITTEN (CONT'D)
Oh god, I came so hard.

THEODORE
Yeah. Me too.

SEXYKITTEN
Okay, good night.

Theodore takes his earpiece out and stares at the ceiling.