Hell’s Greatest Dad (Tech Support Edition)

Looks like you could use some help
From the boss bitch of hell herself
Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp

Five star
Scuff free
Greater than great

With the punch of a pentagram
I wap-bam-boom alakazam
Usually, I charge like 10 giftie subbies
But you get the subscriber rate

Thanks dad

Who needs the busboy
Now that you've got the chef?
Michelin-tasting menu
Free a la carte
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref

Champagne fountains
Caviar mountains
That's just to start!

Who's been here since day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun?
Who makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?
Your favorite tech support
(That's true)

I'm your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that stream today?
(I was glitched, thank you, sir!)

I'm truly honored that we built such a bond
You're like a child that I wish that I had
(Uh, what?)
I care for you, just like a daughter I spawned
(Wait a second -)
It's a little funny
You could almost call me
Daddy

They say when you're looking for assistance
It's smart to pick the path of least resistance
Others say that in your needy hour
There's no substitute for pure angelic power!

Who's covers you had once said raised you up
Sadly, there are times your first streamer is a dud
They say the family you choose is better

What a bunch of losers
Can you butt out of my song
Your song? I started this!
I'm singing it, I'll finish it!
Oh, you tacky piece of -