Heaven or Hell

[Chorus 1 (Extended)]
Gotta watch my back
It ain't safe at night
There's too much to do
Gotta get my paper right
And there's a lot of my dogs
They either dead or in jail
But if I kill myself
Would it be heaven or hell?
Gotta watch my back
It ain't safe at night
There's too much to do
Gotta get my paper right
And there's a lot of my dogs
They either dead or in jail
But if I kill myself
Would it be heaven or hell?

[Verse 1]
Yo, at this present time there's a lot of nonsense at stake
Too many ideas and decisions left to contemplate
Too much to deal wit, too much to make a nigga have to steal shit
And it's hurtin' 'cause I gotta feel it with too much anger
Too many niggas know me, but they don't know me
Analayzed popular stranger, and peep how niggas try to change ya
But I can't cope with no antidote, two options, one is slittin' my wrists
Go to the precinct with a clip my fist
So I keep a cig in my lips, shit is painful, fuck suicide
Done did too much dirt to know if I'ma be angel
So help me god, cry in my sleep
'Cause you ain't pull me out of shark infested waters to die on the beach
And I was told "don't trust, 'cause they plot at the end'
So I treat friends as nobodies, and nobody as friend
Yo, it just seems like trouble's followin' me, lock and key
Stuck in the belly of the beast, and it's swallowin' me
With no cream, with no bundle to hustle and no scheme
No niggas to run with and no team
Tell me what its like to have ran out of options when you goin' all out
Or what it's like to be in love and fall out
Just want to put it behind me and breathe without the fuckin' 9 to squeeze
Without the weed and Hennessy to keep my mind at ease
Without rollin' over, coilin' myself, tryin' to sleep
Without bein' homeless and starvin and dyin' to eat
Shit wasn't like this in the youth house
Throughout my teen years been forced to grow up too fast, ma'fucker I'm not a youth now
Wish I could let a lot of people see the true Mouse
But I'm too scared to see him myself, what'd be the use now?

[Chorus 2]
I done changed too much
I guess the water ran dry
Man I been put through shit
For most of my life
And I done lost my breath
But still I'm tryna fight
I can't take no more
'Cause I'm dyin' inside

[Verse 2]
From houses to gas stations, I've done robbed 'em all
Facing ten-to-twenty, that'll start a robber's fall
Jacked whips in parking lots, I got the drop from Fords
And this amount of victims coming out a shopping mall
I'm a totally different nigga when I'm copping the raw
Apartments with A.D.T., got through the locks in the door
I met some dollared out chicks, somehow I got in the drawers
Seen niggas die in cold blood, they had got shot in the war
Want a seed for the wrong reasons, to see me different
In hopes of me guiding so he'll never have to see a prison
But my shorty got it fucked up
Or maybe I just got it fucked up, somebody got it fucked up
What a nigga got besides his music?
Thirsty as hell, can't smoke the water, 'cause I know that I'll abuse it
And ma'fuckers can't afford to see that fuse lit
They can't afford to see a nigga on some new shit
And where my pops at? Nigga need him now
Show up later on when I'm black, and fuck, I'm bleedin' now
Showin' my moms another side she never seen in me
How the fuck she don't understand when it's her genes in me?
How'd I progress in therapy while wantin' to leave this world?
And I know how to beat the system, can't beat the world
I talk that "take my own life to get off the scene quick"
Unfortunate that I'm too much of a genius to really mean shit

[Chorus 1]
Gotta watch my back
It ain't safe at night
There's too much to do
Gotta get my paper right
And there's a lot of my dogs
They either dead or in jail
But if I kill myself
Would it be heaven or hell?

[Chorus 2]
I done changed too much
I guess the water ran dry
Man I been put through shit
For most of my life
And I done lost my breath
But still I'm tryna fight
I can't take no more
'Cause I'm dyin' inside