In an interview for Pitchfork, Ethel said about the song:
“My head was definitely in the wall when I made it. I had been out of a really dark period of my life for about a year and a half, and all at once I started to process a lot of different stuff: from my childhood, from my teenage years, from...
[Verse 1]
Sometimes you make me wanna put my fucking head through the wall
Sometimes I wonder if I even know you at all
Fall asleep to the sound of your old rotating fan
I cut the fuck out of myself and soaked the bed sheets with blood again
[Verse 2]
I hold my head underwater just to drown out the noise
It's always my fault, girls will be bitches and boys will be boys
I know I don’t need you, but I'm terrified of letting you go
Even after all the times you fucked the shit out of me while I was crying "No"
[Verse 3]
And how am I supposed to feel good about myself when everything I do is wrong?
When I’m just an ugly bitch, a fucking freak, and I don’t wanna go on?
And I don’t wanna leave my house 'cause I know everybody’s staring at me now
"Why the hell am I alive?" is what they think, they wanna take me down
[Chorus]
And I can’t get out, can’t run away, there’s no escaping you now
(There's no escaping you now)
I’m gonna die all alone next to you in this piece of shit town
And we’ve been cursed since the start, Jesus didn’t want us, no
And you take all of your sins out on my body like everyone else does
Shooting up our old school when we get bored of shooting up
And fuck the cops, and fuck God, and fuck this town for ruining us
And they’ll put holes in all we own and in our heads, pumped full of lead
You always told me I could only leave you once we’re both dead
[Outro]
Sometimes you make wanna put my fucking head through the wall
Sometimes I wonder if I ever even knew you at all
Head in the Wall was written by Ethel Cain.
Head in the Wall was produced by Ethel Cain.
Ethel Cain released Head in the Wall on Sun Dec 01 2019.