He’s Your Uncle, Not Your Dad

[Verse 1]
He's your uncle, not your dad
He's the best friend you ever had
So, come on, dig, dig, dig in until it hurts
Just remember Pearl Harbor
The Alamo and nothing could be worse

[Verse 2]
He's your favorite relative
And he needs a lot to live
So just bring, bring, bring everything until you bleed
And he'll send back what he don't need

[Verse 3]
If you're naughty, Form 1040's your salvation
By deprivation of temptation
Dark and blondes I hear are not deductible
Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

[Verse 4]
When he calls you as he may do
Don't be frightened, red white and blue
Just be thankful you don't live in Leningrad
He's your uncle, not your dad

[Verse 5]
If you're honest, you don't have to shake and shiver
The food is lousy up the river
It's give and take and he does all the taking
Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

[Verse 6]
Life has two things you can't subtract
Death and taxes to be exact
So just pay, pay, pay-triotically, be glad
He's your uncle, he's your uncle, not your dad