He Can’t Kill Me

I carved he can't kill me on my arm
In seventh grade with a razor blade
And all my friends and I
We walked together to school every day
We all said we’d rather die by his knife
Than be forced to suck his dick
We were full of Luke Skywalker pride
We thought we were the shit
But I was so glad
That they caught John Joubert when they did
Cause I knew the truth was
I'd do anything to live

I still have the lead pipe
That I carried in my bookbag to school
And if you asked me back then for my heroes
I'd say "Bruce Lee is cool"
My best friend Steve knew
Where his parents hid the key to the cable T.V
So when I spent the night
We stayed up watching triple-x movies
We both decided it was better than Playboy magazines
And when we finally hit the sack
We prayed for wet dreams

Sucking on the slowpokes
That we got at the Mexican grocery
We talked about our broken hearts
And hadn’t even lost our virginity
When a truck pulled to the curb
And a man leaned out to ask us a question
We broke all of our school's track records
Booking in the opposite direction
I had bruises on my back from the lead pipe
But that's a small price to pay for protection
And I nearly choked on my symbolic sucker
Trailing Steve's burning feet down the pavement

Yeah we were definitely tougher
Than some crazy perverted pansy
Cause we were both a year older
Than Danny Joe Eberle