HATE

In my life, I can't feel heat
And my skin is frozen to the touch
Never thought I'd end up so rough
Always waiting for the drop
I feel most alive when I'm thrown from the top
I don't feel a thing unless I'm broken inside
Sprung awake with a knife
How will I stay in line
If I can't do my time as punishment
Walking over the line into banishment

Every day I feel nothing but anxiety and the heartbreak
Carry darkness
With an overexposure to the horror of the human race
Never knew an escape beyond putting a knife to my throat

Brokеn household
Rotten apple
Fucking assholе
Taking innocence
It doesn't make any sense why me
Become a target of brutality
But still caring what he thought of me
Hoping my head doesn't make his fist break
Making me bleed to pay for my smallest mistakes
Growing up in panic and I'm never feeling safe

Why can't I just fade away
I am filled with my self hate
The pain will always be a part of me
Always breaking down inside of me

Thoughts are always speeding like a car chase
Everyone is mad at me
I feel useless
Taking what's in front of me and make it worthless
Please don't fucking talk to me, I'm so nervous