Harper Valley P.T.A.

I wanna tell you all the story
'Bout the Harper Valley widow wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High

Well, her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said
Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA

Well the note said
Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high
And it's reported you've been drinking
And a runnin' round with men and goin' wild
And we don't believe
You oughta be a bringin' up your little girl this way
And it was signed by the secretary Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised
When Mrs Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say
She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA

Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice whenever he's away

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why
Your secretary had to leave this town
And shouldn't Widow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down

Well, Mr Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin

And when you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites

No, I wouldn't put you on
Because it really did it happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA