Harper Valley P.T.A.

I wanna tell you all a story
About a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"

Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson
You're wearing your dresses way too high
And it's reported you've been drinking
And running around with men and going wild
And don't believe you ought to be
Bringing up your little girl this way"
It was signed the secretary
Of the Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson
Wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley PTA"

"Well, there's Bobby Taylor sitting there
And seven times, he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use
A lot of ice whenever he's away
And Mr. Baker, can you tell us
Why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told
To keep her window shades all pulled completely down?
Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too late at Kelly's Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
Well, then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"

No, I wouldn't put you on
Because it really did, it happened just that way
The day my momma socked it to the Harper Valley PTA
Yea, my momma socked it to the Harper Valley PTA