Harper Valley P.T.A.

[Verse 1]
I wanna tell you all a story
About a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who had a teenage daughter
Who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well, her daughter came home one afternoon
And didn't even stop to play
And she said, "Mom, I got a note here
From the Harper Valley PTA"

[Verse 2]
Well, the note said, "Mrs. Johnson
You're wearin' your dresses way too high
It's reported you've been drinking
And a-running 'round with men and goin' wild
And we don't believe you oughta be
A-bringin' up your little girl this way"
And it was signed by the secretary
Harper Valley PTA

[Verse 3]
Well, it happened that the PTA
Was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson
Wore her miniskirt into the room
And as she walked up to the blackboard
I can still recall the words she had to say
She said, "I'd like to address this meeting
Of the Harper Valley PTA"

[Verse 4]
"Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there
And seven times he's asked me for a date
And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice
Whenever he's away
And, Mr. Baker, can you tell us why
Your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep
Her window shades all pulled completely down?"

[Verse 5]
"Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here
'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again
And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's breath
You'll find she's had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me
You think that as a mother I'm not fit
Well, this is just a little Peyton Place
And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"

[Outro]
No, I wouldn't put you on, because it really did
It happened just this way
The day my mama socked it to
The Harper Valley PTA
The day my mama socked it to
The Harper Valley PTA