Handmaid is a song written and sung by Pastelle, with instrumentals from Xenen.
Pastelle suffers from a neurologic disorder called narcolepsy, which plagues the person with chronic nightmares that are disturbing and hard to forget. The song is about not giving into the nightmares whether its literal...
[Intro]
(Xenen Productions)
[Verse 1]
I hold onto the ledge until my fingernails start to break (Break)
I won't surrender myself to the things that you expect from me (Me)
Don't mistake my silence, I'm defiant and this fire will never die (Die, die)
There's a flame inside of my heart and I still have the will to fight (Fight)
[Pre-Chorus]
You can bend all the bones that you'd like, but I-
I won't be broken in two
You can drain all the stars from my eyes, but I-
I won't be stolen
[Chorus]
I've got too much shit to worry about
So I'm throwing it back to you
I'm not your slave (Slave)
And I won't decay (—cay)
I'm not your handmaid
[Post-Chorus]
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
I'm not your handmaid
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
I'm not your handmaid
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
[Chorus]
I've got too much shit to worry about
So I'm throwing it back to you (Back to you)
I'm not your slave (Slave)
And I won't decay (—cay, —cay, —cay)
I'm not your handmaid
[Verse 2]
I hold onto the ledge until my fingernails start to break (Break, break, break)
I won't surrender myself and let your fingers curl 'round the best of me (Me, me, me)
Maybe I slip, maybe I'm not in the best condition of me (Best condition of me)
But this is really it, this is how I come, and I'm living as long as I can breathe
[Interlude]
You know exactly what you do
(You can bend all the bones that you'd like, but I–)
Don't turn your back on what is true
(You can drain all the starts from my eyes, but I–)
I know it's hard to fight the urge
(You can bend all the– you can bend all the–)
Victorious, you will emerge
(You can bend all the–)
[Pre-Chorus]
You can bend all the bones that you'd like, but I–
I won't be broken in two
You can drain all the stars from my eyes, but I–
I won't be stolen
[Chorus]
I've got too much shit to worry about
So I'm throwing it back to you
I'm not your slave (Slave)
And I won't decay (—cay, —cay, —cay)
I'm not your handmaid
[Post-Chorus]
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
I'm not your handmaid
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
I'm not your handmaid
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
I'm not your handmaid
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
And I won't be broken
(Handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid, handmaid...)
[Outro]
I won't be broken
(Xenen)