Halitosis

{*a parody of 2Pac's song "California Love"*}

Halitosis
Hurts everybody
Your halitosis
Is ungodly
It's amazing how bad you smell
It's amazing I'm still alive
It's amazing what you smell like
No you're not very well liked
Now I know what Hell's like

Now let me introduce the brother with the wild wild breath
His face is untouchable like grandmother's breasts
The smell hits your nose hard, then you hit the floor
You're out cold for a week and for a month you'll be sore
He's only got three teeth and they all are rotten
A state of emergency is what he's gotten
Forgotten how to brush his last three teeth
Lean green infected dental roots underneath
A few years ago he moved to the town where I am
And then all our pets started dyin'
I couldn't believe the smell that came from his jaw
Bloody mess, lookin' like he chewed on a chainsaw
The smell reaches clear from Alaska to New York
He's gotta grind his food and then eat it off a spork
Uh, pull his finger, it smells the same way
Strong enough to sink Californ-i-a

Halitosis
Hurts everybody
Your halitosis
Is ungodly
It's amazing your jaw is attached
It's amazing your house still stands
It's amazing how bad it's gotten
Your mouth is rotten, it keeps on rottin'
Brush, brush 'em baby
Brush brush your teeth
For the love of God
Go brush your teeth

Now what comes out of homie's mouth has really got me cryin'
Soon as he comes in the room you see some people dyin'
He's got that musty, lover-losin', hygiene resistant
Breath that smells like a dead cow
He really doesn't give a damn of what the people think though
Yesterday he got a government fine ([Spice]yeah, I know)
He never ate a certs or even chewed on bubble-gum
Flosses after meals but the string cuts through his gums
Been on TV programs world wide
From the Oprah Winfrey show to Live at Five
I think his breath is gettin' worse now, it's opaque
To get through it you may have to use a snow plow
He's a disgrace, so give me that bomb from the base
I'm gonna blow that ugly smile off his face
I think I need back up, 'cause the smell is comin' back up
I grab a suitcase and I pack up, get me out!

Halitosis
Hurts everybody
Halitosis
Is ungodly
It's amazing that you can breathe
It's amazing your tongue still works
It's amazing what color your breath is
He thinks it's precious
But look how my flesh is
Brush, brush 'em baby
Brush brush your teeth
For the love of God
Go brush your teeth