Halfway to Vegas

She gave her pound of flesh to handsome Dr. Liposuck
Senior picture in the mirror, through nip and tuck and then
He saw her, right away fell in love
He got out the gold card, needed shove

Next thing they know
They're on the way to Vegas

He'd hit the jewelry store, a couple thousand for the rock
She said "wait until it's over, I'll touch your... y'know"
She looked down, "diamonds fit me like a glove
"Anything so lovely, must be love"

She sees the country club
Halfway to Vеgas
Yeah, he sees forbidden lovе
Halfway to Vegas

He flipped the visor up to spread the sunshine all around
He could count her years in crows feet - he flipped it down
"Eyes so green like the money in his fold
"But he's windy as the desert, and twice as old"

True love will conquer all
Halfway to Vegas
Yeah, they're gonna have a ball
Once they hit Vegas

One headlight
Looking evil in his rearview mirror
Around midnight
"Must be Satan, how'd he find me here?
"Something evil this way comes, here to watch me crash"
So he let up on the gas
And let the Devil pass

Turned up the radio, a romantic little tune
While his angel lay asleep beneath the desert moon
Broken-necked with her head against the door
Even heaven ain't romantic, when angel's snoring

He's gonna fall apart
Halfway to Vegas
Pulled off so he could smoke and fart
Halfway to Vegas

She rolled the window down because she couldn't take the smell
Smelled like nervous armpit, and Taco Bell
Pretend she's asleep just to sneak a peek at him
Put his finger to his nostril - and shove it in

She's gotta go, no fuckin' way -- Las Vegas
Maybe another man, another day, Las Vegas
Yeah, he turned the car around
Halfway to Vegas
Go away you evil desert town
Won't play Las Vegas
Yeah