Halfway to Heaven

[Intro]
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down

[Verse 1]
I'm halfway to heaven and my home in Forest Hills
It's half-past eleven and I've got some time to kill
I missed my bus connection, my train got in too late
And I'm forced into reflection by this half hour wait

[Verse 2]
Now I have been a straight man and I've played it by the rules
I been a good man, a good husband, a good old fashioned fool
I have a fine wife and two children just like everybody's got
But after fifteen years of marriage the fires don't burn too hot

[Chorus 1]
Someone played a trick on me
They set me up so perfectly
They gave me their morality
And then changed the rules they set for me
Someone must be laughing now
Though it don't seem funny somehow
How the world's accepting now
What they once would not allow
Back in my younger days
The world has changed in so many ways

[Verse 3]
My mother once said to me so many years ago now
Don't you touch those bad girls, so I never had girls
Until I had my Mary when we married
My Mary then had my two sons
My life as a lover was already done
It was over before it had really begun

[Chorus 2]
Someone played a trick on me
They sent this little girl to me
She is my new secretary
And she's something to see
Yeah, she's a nice girl, but it's a young world
And she lives her life so free and she sure gets through to me

[Verse 4]
She brings her pad into my office, she wears a sweater and a skirt
And somewhere deep inside of me something starts to hurt
She's wearing nothing underneath, I can see what's there to see
She smiles and says, "You wanted me?" I'd have to agree

[Bridge]
You know how much I want her
And I know that I could have her
I know I could, I know she would
Make love to me, so wonderfully
God damn, I'm one crazy mixed up mixture of a man
In my head all my life I've been a sinner
And in my bed with just my wife I'm still a beginner
But tomorrow night I'm taking that little girl out to dinner

[Outro]
There's no tick tock on your electric clock
But still your life runs down