Half Dead

*crowd cheer*
Thank you, thank you
Thank you very much
Uh, thank you. Hello, everybody
I mean, by everybody I mean, uh, you guys
I mean everybody who's here
I shouldn't say everybody because most people are not here
By a pretty *huge* majority
Most people are not here
Most people are in China, actually
That's true
Actually, that's not true. Most people are dead. Did you know that?
It's true, out of all the people that ever were
Almost all of them are dead
There are way more dead people
And you're all gonna die
And then you're gonna be dead for way longer that you were alive
Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be
You're just dead people that didn't die yet
There are so many dead people
Ray Charles is dead
Hitler
A bunch of other ones
But mostly those two guys
That's true, Ray Charles and Hitler are both dead
And really, that's the only thing they have in common
Because otherwise, they're very diiferent dudes
Many contrasts between Ray Charles and Hitler
I'll tell you a few of 'em
Ray Charles was black. Hitler was not
Hitler killed several jews
Too many, I'll say too many
An excessive amount of Jews
He really beat that thing to the ground
Just no moderation
Ray Charles, meanwhile, hardly any Jews
He killed so few Jews