Gruesome Gary

I remember when we walked as one
And all the truths were known
And we were scrappers in the school yard fights
Talked tough on the telephone

But there was always one big guy who feared nothing and no one
His name was Gary and he looked so mean
He wasn't a lot of fun
When he walked by, you got the fuck out of the way

Now Gary was the school yard bully
Didn't have a lot of friends
He had kids do his homework for him
Stupid 'til the end

On Graduation Day he stood the tallest, and he got his degree
He couldn't add two plus two
Let loose on society
When he walked by, you got the fuck out of the way

Gary was, was the top cat in his day
Everybody said that he'd get his someday
And I swear to this day that I still see his face
When I have a bad dream at night, he's the monster to my right

Now Gruesome Gary met his match at a young and tender age
He got a whipping at the mall one night, and the police took him away
The town cheered and the geeks all jeered, but I'll just make a bet
Gary will live on in infamy -- he was the meanest guy you ever met!