Growth Spurt

[Verse 1]
She had a hard on, she had a muscle out of place
It looked peculiar, occupying an unlikely space
She saw a doctor and he cut her wide
When he saw inside he nearly died

[Verse 2]
She has a sister, she had a sibling in her groin
A small relation, with whom she didn't know she'd joined
This was a problem cos she'd always been
The queen of hearts a spoiled only child

[Verse 3]
She called her Shirley, she dressed her in the finest clothes
But she was wracked with pain, when Shirley had a cuter nose
She saw a doctor and he cut the lump and smoothed the hump
To make her look much better from the side

[Chorus]
But things are never quite that simple
They change and stay the same and fade away

[Verse 4]
Her husband left her, he didn't like her nose at all
So she blamed Shirley, smashed her tiny head against a wall
The judge and jury watched her as she cried
Threw her inside and tossed away the key

[Chorus]
But things are never quite that simple
They change and stay the same and fade away

[Verse 5]
Fifteen years later, they let her out for being good
She made her fortune carving little figures made of wood
They are were Shirley, but they all were still and cold
She made and sold them till the day she died