Greatest Story Ever Told

Moses come ridin' up on a quasar
His spurs were jingling, the door was ajar
His buckle was silver, his manner was bold
And I asked him to come in out of the cold

His brain was boiling, his reason was spent
He said: If nothing is borrowed, then nothing was lent
I asked him for mercy, he gave me a gun
Said: Now 'n' again these things just got to be done

Abraham and Isaac
Sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work
If you had any sense
Y'know the one thing we need
Is a left-hand monkey wrench

Gideon come in with his eyes on the floor
Says: Y'ain't got a hinge, you can't close the door
Moses stood up a full six-foot-ten
Says: You can't close the door when the wall's caved in
I asked him for water, he poured me some wine
We finished the bottle, then broke into mine
You get what you come for, you're ready to go
It's one in ten thousand just come for the show

Abraham and Isaac
Digging on a well
Mama come quick
With the water witch spell
Cool clear water
Where you can't never tell

Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
You'd get right to work if you had any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench