Grand Old Party

The party's over
And a new day begins
Now is the time
For confessing our sins

Maybe we ate a little too much
Or drank a little too much scotch
And I guess the entertainment
Got a little out of hand
Judging from the hole in my crotch
I feel like hell today, but last night, hey
Weren't we hale and hearty?
All in all, I really got to say
It was a Grand Old Party

We donned our disguises, ate appetizers
Talked 'til our teeth got numb
Johnny Walker ran free
'Til he crawled out the door
Then we started on rum
I guess I knew I should have refused
That one last Skogan McCarly [?]
But despite the mess, I must confess
It was a Grand Old Party

Oh, I've heat seeking whistles
And misguided missiles
I guess they went a little too far
When a backseat snuggle
Turned into a struggle
And totaled my car
Now most of my friends
Will never speak to me again
But love is never saying you're sorry
At the end of the day I really got to say
It was a Grand Old Party

Now sometimes I dream that my life is a trial
My friends and all my family are there
Load of dirty laundry are fallin' all around me
I'm hiding under my chair
If you are what you eat, then I'm dead meat
And lord knows I've been naughty
In the depths of disgrace I rest my case
It was a Grand Old Party