Grand Larceny

[Intro]
Attention all citizens
Be on the alert for emcee Ice-T
Wanted by the FBI for unlawful flight to avoid confinement for the crime of robbery
This is a hold-up
This is a hold-up
This is a hold-up
This is a hold-up (The whole job will take less than five minutes)

[Verse 1]
Stick up, hands in the air
You move, you lose 'cause the Ice don't care
No chance to run, don't shout
Flinch an inch, I'm gonna take you out
Grand larcenist, soloist, felonist, vocalist
Crime's my rhyme, but here's a new twist
I ain't here for your gold, bro
All I want is the show
This is grand larceny

[Chorus]
Grand larceny
Grand larceny
Grand larceny

[Verse 2]
I lay low for a show, and then I go
Steal the motherfucker, then we count the dough
It's kinda like robbin', but it's legally done
And nowadays if it ain't legal I don't fuck around
I get my thrills when I ill and a jam is filled
With ten thousand screamin' people, now that's the pill
Who's gonna dog the set? The Ice will
And once I'm in effect it's overkill
Kinda like a hold-up, all the tickets sold up
And then the black stretch limo cold rolls up
And then the posse breaks, high off the Cold Duck
And then I set the mic to show destruct
Even if we open up, that don't mean nothin'
I rock the rhymes, E does the cuttin'
Call it show-nappin', I take a hostage at night
Dog shit and break out on the next flight
This is grand larceny
Grand larceny

[Verse 3]
I'm a kleptomaniac when a jam is packed
You can fight all night, but you'll still get jacked by the
Show stealer, crime rhyme dealer
Rap kingpin, L.A. big-wheeler
Got a posse so strong they could lift a tank, rob a bank
But now we steal shows, the cops say thanks
Breathe easy 'cause the Syndicate's deep
And before we started rappin' they got no sleep
It's grand larceny
Grand larceny

[Verse 4]
Just give me a beat, give me a stage to stand on
I know that none y'all ever planned on
A dude from L.A. who could rock shit this way
Have his record go gold with no radio play
But it happened, the Ice is rappin'
Just listen to my fans that are clappin'
Or come to the show, get in the front row
And watch me steal the motherfucker before your ass can say "ho"
I'm like a time bomb, but I'm a rhyme bomb
Spray the whole audience with napalm
Or something just as hot, I'll bust a rhyme, why not?
Raps hittin' so hard, you'll think you're shot
I'll take a show and abduct it, stone cold house it
If it gets wild, with gasoline I'll douse it
Set it ablaze then I'll stomp it out
Many burnt emcees know what we're talkin' about
This is grand larceny

[Interlude]
He's wanted for twenty-four recent hold-ups
His background must be of extreme interest to criminology
Syndicate, Syn-S-S-S-S-Syndicate
S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Syndicate
Syn-Syn-S-S-S-S-S-Syndicate
S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Syndicate
Syndicate, S-S-S-S-Syndicate

[Verse 5]
Promoters on my tail now 'cause they billed me low
Here I am 'bout to steal another show
So they turn my mic down, fuck up my audio sound
But too late, we just dogged another town
Rappin' like a Mac 10, as soon as I begin
The only way to stop the stealin' is throwin' me in the pen
But that'll never happen 'cause I'm just cool rappin'
My larceny is legal, so sorry captain
I would never steal a style or would ever steal a rap
But I'll steal a show in a minute, it's as simple as that
An interstate crook, my pistol's my rhyme book
Any show that I'm on is a show that's took
Better watch my left hook, or your jaw will get shook
If my posse gets mad, it's best you book
From the grand larcenist, Ice-T is my name
Got a rap like a mac and a game the same

[Chorus]
This is a hold-up
Grand larceny
This is a hold-up
Grand larceny
This is a hold-up
Grand larceny

[Outro]
Well, lieutenant, I guess we might as well call it quits
They knew I'd never go to jail