Govan Billiard Hall Song

[Verse 1]
Now Govan is a busy place upon a Friday night
And the billiard halls down there are busy too
And there's many a strong and fancy lad
Was rattled in the fight
For fiddling with the colours and the cue

[Chorus]
Don't stand to look around while the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame
You'd be better safe a' hame
When they're handing out the message in your ear

[Verse 2]
One certain Friday evening I went down to a saloon
For I'd heard some fancy things about this dive
And I went up to a table where two lads were trying hard
To win three sets of snooker out of five

[Chorus]
Don't stand to look around while the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame
You'd be better safe a' hame
When they're handing out the message in your ear

[Verse 3]
There were nearly fourscore Govan lads with bonnets to the fore
Standing around by the benches lookin' grim
For the music got around that their chap was two sets down
And his chances now were lookin' mighty slim

[Chorus]
Don't stand to look around while the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're to blame
You'd be better off at home
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

[Verse 4]
Half o' these lads had bet their dough upon the losing bloke
And the others on the lad whose game was made
But the leery, losing punters knew that when the game was o'er
The other half just wasn't gettin' paid

[Chorus]
Don't stand to look around while the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're to blame
You'd be better off at home
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear

[Verse 5]
Now a cool-dab lad, the winning boy, was all set for the kill
Sending down the shots in fives and threes
When the other chap he calls, as he jiggles up the balls
"That's all, the game's a bogey if you please!"

[Chorus]
Don't stand to look around while the cues are upside down
And the balls are flying fast from far and near
For whether you're tae blame
You'd be better safe a' hame
When they're handing out the stitches in your ear