Girlfailure (Certified Mess)

[Intro]
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

[Verse 1]
As I open my eyes, there's a pain in my head
Woke up past noon, snooze-maxxing again
Can't remember last night as I'm looking around
Empty bottles and tissues littered on the ground
Wanna go back to sleep where my dreams welcome me
But the second alarm cuts my yabai fantasy
Graduated collage, thought I'd be free
But I'm shackled by lust, drowning in degeneracy
No one can help me now, got lost farming clout
How can you fix someone who's already crashing out?

[Chorus]
I'm a girlfailure, ha, a certified mess
A pathetic, sad girl who won't even get dressed
Gave up trying in life, just wanna rot in bed
Doom-scrolling and gooning until I'm fully brain-dead

[Refrain]
Girlfailure, but at least I'm pretty cute
Oh, if you wanna shoot your shot
I'm so down bad and feral too (Ah-ha, ha)

[Verse 2]
Can't drive, no car, I have a personal chauffeur
Between you and me, his name is Uber
Can't cook, why am I such a useless sinner?
Time to get high and have my girl dinner

[Verse 3]
Everyone is getting married, but I'm still crying
Singing, romanticizing my ruin, coping while day-drinking
Saying, "I'm okay," yeah, that's full of cap
Just another mentally ill girl who can't do life or math
Sorry, so sorry for that bit of misogyny
I wasn't built to girlboss because I'm too baby

[Chorus]
I'm a girl failure, a certified mess
A pathetic sad girl who won't even get dressed
Gave up trying in life, just wanna rot in bed
Doomscrolling and gooning until I'm fully brain-dead

[Refrain]
Girlfailure, but at least I'm pretty cute
Oh, if you wanna shoot your shot
I'm so down bad and feral too (Ah)
Girlfailure, but at least I'm pretty cute
Oh, if you wanna shoot your shot
I'm so down bad, and feral too

[Outro]
Ah, girlfailure, a walking red flag
But if you treat me right, I'll make you so damn glad
Girlfailure, have no shame anymore
I'll let you do me real nasty, right on the floor (He-he, heh)