Ghost

[Verse 1]
Starting off first, I grew up as the shy kid
I thought no one ever really cared about what I did
Walking out of class with a frown on my face
But everyone was so ahead I couldn’t keep with the pace
Guess it happens when you grow up in a sheltered home
While all the other kids are off free to roam
But I gotta blame myself as I didn’t talk to many
Friends other than cousins? Man, I barely had any
Maybe I was scared of what other people really thought of me
Much skinnier and paler than most kids would have to be
Felt different from the pack and I didn’t like it at all
Sitting in those classes, off track, staring at the wall
But the idea of being popular was stuck in my mind
Daydreaming of a reality I was destined to find
It would be so easy and I’d feel so known
But a room full of people and I still end up alone

[Chorus]
I had these thoughts in the back of my brain
Thinking I have nothing to gain
And I’ve been looking for somebody to blame
But it all just ends the same
Call out for help just so
I choose to hold back won’t let nobody know
Fit in with the party, maybe become the host
But I feel like a ghost just doing the most

[Verse 2]
By the time I got to high school, I could make a decision
But these circles of doubt were deciding my vision
Starting learning about the world and how it really was
I can’t force the way life works just because
It’s all part of a plan but I didn’t like that plan
As it saw me slipping further from what I am as a man
I wanna be me and not controlled by a higher being
And I feel like I was being punished for not even agreeing
I took some blows, started doubting my creativity
Soon my YouTube channel had experienced inactivity
Grades were hitting the floor and my focus was stalling
The storm was at its peak, my confidence it was mauling
My parents started questioning me about my act
Which didn’t even really help just made more worries attract
I was left inside that room alone with the worst of intent
And I just stayed silent, let my thoughts present

[Verse 3]
And it was on that day, I could have done it
Thought ending my story as the pain had finally won it
To the left of me, a frightening image is all I’d see
But something talked me out of it, and I knew it couldn’t be
As I thought about the people I would hurt if I was gone
Did I go through all these years just to be another pawn?
And I kept it all inside, so I wasn’t seen as weak
I was scared everybody would see me as some suicidal freak
I finally told my parents who understand me (pew)
Had months of therapy, the only ones that really knew
Every Tuesday, I got to speak my feelings it was great
Would this even fix my problems? All I’d do is hope and wait
I was praying more due to this, will it get better?
Cuz it’s not like God would just send me a letter
I try to look for hints but all I see is 103
Now I believe in God but does God believe in me?

[Chorus]
Still have these thoughts in the back of my brain
Thinking I have nothing to gain
Still got no one else to blame
And it all just ends the same
I know that there’s hope I’ll go on
Can’t quite find the truth, is my faith gone?
Fit in with the party, maybe become the host
But I feel like a ghost just doing the most

[Verse 3]
But thank the Lord that everything had ended up great
All because of one song that would rid of my weight
That class I hated, ignited a passion in my heart
And I took a nap that night and got a total restart
Found Flex Entertainment thanks to Brad Taste
And I found a new community, I was embraced
There’s people with similar goals like me
Which boosted my confidence as you can see
When I walk around town, I’m admired by numerous
Almost like a celebrity, it’s just so humorous
No longer underweight, I’m finally up to par
Dropping even more bangers, I think I’m a star
A small town boy that hoped to live his dreams
Been working all my life just to see what it means
To be on the top on the world, the one sailing the ship
I’d like to thank everyone that ever helped me on this trip
Including Dom, Brady, Austin, David, Ryan, Mosquito, Lambo
Payden, Jake, Squeaky, Brad, Kenny, Ivan, CRZ, Schmoobin, Ruck
Matty, Mat, Kev, Nuck, Hamish, Crews, Toad, Milky, Ben, Adysen, Ethan
Max, Sarah, Mia, Emma, Callie, Graicen!
Fowler as a whole, Flex as a whole, MXW as a whole, Music as a whole
YouTube as a whole, Family as a whole, God in heaven
Can’t forget about the people I love the most: that’s Jesse, Carly, Anna, Dad
But most importantly out of everyone I wanna thank you Mom
I love you

[Outro]
The truth about my music is that not all of it is real
There is some that is real, and then there’s some that’s not true at all
And that’s just how my life is
I’m not really much of a gangster or stuff
As I usually like to pretend myself, I’m kind of a normal guy
And it’s only, I don’t know
It’s the idea of it, the idea of being something like that really inspires me
I can almost see it as a way to, you know, this is what I could be
I almost use this as a shield to not talk about my feelings that much
And just keep that all to myself and depending on how this goes
Maybe I could show my feelings more often
I feel like I get caught up in what people say about me so much
To the point where I just gotta tell myself like
Just Be Dumb Bro