Getting Board?

I was going 'bout my normal day and boring ways
Just doing daily duties like a jury court date
I saw Dan Bulls vid' and I thought hey!
I could write a little rhyme about some board games
My forte is choosing traits to ignore
And Guess a face that's based on who's facing the floor
In a Chess game
I don't play the safe way
I just race on my Horse
Straight chasing the Pawns
But Monopoly I'm not as keen
I always land on Oxford Street and pay a massively obnoxious fee
Got me dropping to my knees, scream "Officer, please!"
"This card takes my charges and drops them for free!"
Scrabble is a game where you win cause of words you pick
That line alone would give you a score of eighty six!
If I lose thе board may be flipped, nasty loser
I won't lеt you breeze through like a Draught Excluder
Calm your boots son
No need to be seething
Just arm the troops up
Get the army suits on
'Cause I'm ready to Risk it in political warfare
Pick a territory and position all my force there
It's obligatory that we stick to the rules right?
But it got gory when I was caught by Mrs White
Had to grab a dagger
From the cabinet and stab her
In the back a couple times
Hear the muffled cry?
Murdered her in the Conservatory, crap! The Colonel's seen
I'll have to call him in the hall and make it seem like it was Mister Green
Fresher than listerine, minty clean
Spitting quickly leaves my tongue tangled up like a Twister scene
Nah I'm kidding kid
You could spin that disc three sixty hit
Every single coloured bit and I'd still flip syllable tricks
Easy like it was a Trivial quiz hit a ship
With a sea mine, A9 and H5
Take lives when I place five in a straight line
Snapping quicker than a Mousetrap, shouting at your house cat
I'm the big cheese round here, never doubt that
You'll be in the sky with a lovely view
After you get kicked in the behind by a Buckeroo
I've had enough of you peasants, you lot have ruffled my feathers
I'll make you swallow a wrench so you feel under the weather
Shooting through the ranks likes snakes up a ladder
The Frustration of my placing makes me ape and bananas
Like an animal rampage in a game of Jumanji
The crocs and the hippos salivating and hungry
Raging and angry so I'm rasing the anti
Roll my dice twice, escape the place where the fangs be
A board game song that's what rapping to a brief is
Time to take it down and pack away all the pieces