GC Voicemails (Bonus Skit)

[YUNG CEES]
It's been mad long since I've checked on this answering machine. Let's see what we got.

[Answering Machine]
Mr. YUNG CEES, you have six new voicemails.

[YUNG CEES]
Six? Wait, what are you talking about?

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Zander:

[Zander]
Uh, hello, hello? Is this the phone of YUNG CEES? Uh, hi, my name's Zander, I'm a really big fan. I've got some, uh, theories about your album. Uh, if I could just take a few hours of your time, uh, call me back.

[YUNG CEES]
Bro, how did you get my number?

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Kai:

[Kai]
Hamza, what's going on, bro? Uh, yeah, I'ma keep this short and sweet, bro, if you don't drop, you're gonna end up with Rob Dylan, bro. Full warning.

[YUNG CEES]
I'm gonna end up with who?

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Damen:

[Damen]
Ham', Ham', bro, you fell asleep in Space again? This is literally the fortieth time. You-you can't keep doing this, but listen, you promised us the album two years ago! You were seventeen! You're pushing twenty-one now, bro. Where's TPOPAP at, bruh? Drop the album. Drop it now.

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Clinomaniac*:

[Clinomaniac*]
Alright, bro, I'm not gonna lie, I'm not really patient enough for this. At this point, I'd rather, you know, listen to D2 than wait any longer for this album, not gonna lie.

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Julie:

[Julie]
YUNG CEES, it's Julie! I'm not gonna lie, it's been months without a drop. You're slacking, dawg, like OD. Drop some music, bozo. Bye!

[YUNG CEES]
Bro, this is just insulting at this point. How do I make it stop?

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Will:

[Will]
Yeah, Hamza, I'm not gonna lie, dawg, just keep the album at this point. Like, all this talk and literally nothing to back it up? Eversince clears, man.

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from ROSIEO:

[ROSIEO]
Yo, Ham', can you-can you drop the album? Like, I've produced half of it and it's still not out. Wh-Where is the album? Literally, everything I've sent you is mixed, mastered, it's all finished—where is the album? You need to drop it, I can't stress that enough.

[YUNG CEES]
Alright, bro, I'm pulling the plug on this damn machine.

[Answering Machine]
Error, error; User has tried to pull the plug, resulting in unlimited messages.

[YUNG CEES]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what do you-what do you...

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Fleecy:

[Fleecy]
Yo, uh... uh, YUNG CEES, man? Look, I got, um, some bad news, man. So, I know you're working on this, like, uh, this lil' album or whatever, you know? And I know you... you wa-you said you were gonna get me on a feature, or something like that.

I have bad news about that, man. I'm actually, um, retiring from music. So, uh, recently, I was just... reading through, um, reviews on Album of the Year, and unfortunately... it's been brought to my attention that I just clearly wasn't cut out for rap. And, instead, I'm going to be switching over to witchhouse, ambient music. And, um, also, maybe, incorporating some folktronica into there as well, um.

I'm just thinking, like, if I can do that and make that swap successfully, I can really appeal to like... you know, like middle-aged white dudes with, like, YouTube channels, um... you know, like thirty-five-year-olds on YouTube. I feel like they'd, like, like that. And I also feel like they'd like, you know, they'd, like, review it and, like, rate it well. So, I feel like that'd be, like, [?] "worth it" feeling for me personally.

Um, yeah, so that's where I'm headed right now, I'm—and, um, these rap songs, or whatever you have? They're just, like, super, like, basic and immature, and I just don't think it's something I, like, wanna partake in.

So, um... yeah, unfortunately, YUNG CEES, I will not be hopping on your album. But if you ever do decide to, like, hop into the, like, folktronica, um, genre, you can definitely hit me back and then we can make something from there. Thanks.

[YUNG CEES]
I don't know what that man is talking about, but I'm gonna have to skip out on that offer, unfortunately.

[Answering Machine]
Voicemail from Demigod:

[Demigod]
Pshh... yo, Hamza, it is 3 A.M. right now in good old Queen's England. And, you know, I was just staring at the moon, like, in the sky, gettin', you know, into my inner aura. My inner chakra—aurainairy; good reference by me, thank you. I'm, I'm-I'm great, aren't I? But, um, yeah, was thinking 'bout that. And I just think you need to drop the album. You need to—now! Where is it? Where is it? I want-I want it on my plate, like, "Nom, nom, nom", I want to eat it up. I want to be eating. But we're not. 'Cause you haven't fucking dropped it. I'm sick. I'm sick, I'm hungry, I'm-I'm a starving child, Hamza. I'm starving, 'cause you haven't fed me. Call me babes, love you, bye. [Smooch]

[YUNG CEES]
Alright, I give up! What do you want?

[Answering Machine]
Sorry for this, Mr. CEES, but the point is you need to drop some damn music.

[YUNG CEES]
Fine, here you go!—