Free Will and Testament

Given free will but within certain limitations
I cannot will myself to limitless mutations
I cannot know what I would be if I were not me
I can only guess me

So when I say that I know me, how can I know that?
What kind of spider understands arachnophobia?
I have my senses and my sense of having senses
Do I guide them? Or they me?

The weight of dust exceeds the weight of settled objects
What can it mean, such gravity without a centre?
Is there freedom to un-be?
Is there freedom from will-to-be?

Sheer momentum makes us act this way or that way
We just invent or just assume a motivation
I would disperse, be disconnected. Is this possible?
What are soldiers without a foe?

Be in the air, but not be air, be in the no air
Be on the loose, neither compacted nor suspended
Neither born nor left to die

Had I been free, I could have chosen not to be me
Demented forces push me madly round a treadmill
Demented forces push me madly round a treadmill
Let me off please, I am so tired
Let me off please, I am so very tired