Free Drinks For Everyone

[Verse 1]
Well the van got a new heart up in Vancouver
Took me all the way down to Louisville
With just enough time to tune my guitar
Climb on stage while the place got filled
And it’s wall to wall with all kinds of people
From the born agains to the barely legal
I’m on stage trying to please everyone
Or at least the few that choose to listen

[Verse 2]
And the man who’s supposed to pay me he’s doing coke
In the back room with the man who was manning the door
So it’s a free show from now on I guess
All the poor hippies they’re sneaking in
They got their pot brownies and their mushroom tea
And they’re passing it out to everybody
I’m up here, sipping whiskey and singing
“If I ever sound like John Mayer, someone please shoot me”

[Chorus]
And Suzanne the bartender’s out in the street
Kicking her shoes off her little bare feet
Pounding on the asphalt at the top of her lungs, she screams
“Free drinks for everyone, free drinks for everyone”

[Verse 3]
This girl tells me she got my cd
From someone who burned it, from someone who burned it
Who burned it from some guy who got it from
Some station that one time played my songs
And I tell her, hell, there ain’t nothing that you owe
I just got’s to make enough to get me to the next show

[Verse 4]
And the meth zombies they’re stumbling in
They don’t eat your brains but they’ll steal your tips
This cop up front he wants to throw me in jail
He said I know your fans love you but they won’t pay your bail

[Chorus]
And Suzanne the bartender’s out in the street
Kicking her shoes off her little bare feet
Pounding on the asphalt at the top of her lungs, she screams
“Free drinks for everyone, free drinks for everyone”

[Verse 5]
Now it’s the third set, it’s a long set
Cause this bar don’t close till 4am
But I ain’t taking no breaks no more
Cause there’s a cougar waiting at the end of the bar
She’s waving her arms, she’s screaming my name
She comes closer and closer with every song I sing
And she throws her tequila down on the floor
But they’ll be another one for goddamn sure

[Chorus]
And Suzanne the bartender’s out in the street
Kicking her shoes off her little bare feet
Pounding on the asphalt at the top of her lungs, she screams
“Free drinks for everyone, free drinks for everyone”
“Free drinks for everyone, free drinks for everyone”