Fraternity Blues

[Verse 1]
I decided to improve my social station
I joined a fraternal organization
Tucked in my shirt
Signed on the line
Right away they set about to improve my mind
The car I drove
The books I read
The food I ate
The booze I drank
The girls I took out
My breath

[Verse 2]
Said "Kid, we don't much like the way you walk
And you gonna have to change the way you talk"
They said "Your dress is kind of slouchy
And your attitude is mighty grouchy"
Said "You got to learn to bubble
You got to bubble with enthusiasm"
I started to bubble

[Verse 3]
"Most important thing you can't forget
Is learning the entire Greek alphabet"
I never did really understand
That that's gonna make me anymore a man
But I learned it
I can whip through that son-of-a-beta backwards in five seconds

[Verse 4]
Then they hit me with some pretty bad news
Concerning the payment of monthly dues
I never did know where that money went
And I never was sure it was real well spent
But I paid it
I'm no trouble causer and besides I figured that's life
If you want good friends they're gonna cost you

[Verse 5]
Well, finally got to be party time
I got a great big old jug of wine
I went back to the house in about an hour
And everybody's drinking whiskey sours
Brandy Alexanders
Frozen daiquiris
Reciting the Greek alphabet to one another

[Verse 6]
I could see I was gonna have to do my very best
To get myself out of that fraternity mess
I stood right there outside the door
And I chugged that wine like never before
Walked inside and bubbled
All over a couple of their dates

[Verse 7]
So now everything's back to normal again
But there is still lots of room for improvement my friend
Of course that fraternity stuff is too much for me
Next time I'm gonna join a sorority
Really get me something to bubble about