Formulaic

[Verse 1]
I was sent on a quest to save the seven sages
In five different temples off in far off places
Walked the twisted corridors within the woods
Reconnected with a spirit from my childhood

Then I braved a volcano to save a race
Of rock people from a lava dwelling fire snake
Then I sank to the depths out in Lake Hylia
Face-to-face with myself and a cursed amoeba

And then things got a bit strange
Killed a Cyclops bongo playing shadow thing
And then I trekked through the desert of the Haunted Lands
And fought the witches in the temple of the storming sand
The last Sheikah, the seventh sage
Brought along the return of a familiar face
And after all that adventure I have to say
This whole climax feels a bit cliché

[Chorus] X 2
One, bad guy kidnaps a princess
Two, princess is kept in a castle
Three, hero arrives for the princess
Four, turns into big old fiasco

[Verse 2]
I mean you've got to admit this seems so peculiar
Castle, princess
Seems all too familiar
Blond hair, helpless
Pink dress of lace
I know I've seen it somewhere
But can't seem to place it
Master of Time not a charming prince
Sorry for the attitude but this makes no sense

I mean
Zelda was a ninja dude
Not to mention the Triforce of Wisdom too
Kidnap a princess lock her away
And play an ominous piano like a giant cliché
Got Master Sword and some arrows of light
You finally transform and try to make it a fight
Too little too late as any evil will learn
Banished to the dark realm with no means of return

[Chorus] X 2
One, Bad guy kidnaps a princess
Two, Princess is kept in a castle
Three, Hero arrives for the princess
Four, Turns into big old fiasco