Forest Hills Sub

The sign says Forest Hills - it was recently defaced
I guess there was a forest here - before they built this place
With these cookie-cutter homes - with the lawns all manicured
All the cars are waxed and polished - as are all the kitchen floors

It’s a wholesome kind of place - that’s what they’d have you believe
There’s a flag at every house - and a few overachieve
We have a child prodigy - and a couple of folks do art
And a little neighborhood baseball team that plays with lots of heart

The letter to the editor - I read in last week’s paper
Was written by that knucklehead - who used to be my neighbor
Talk about intolerance - those people he calls heathens
‘Cause they don’t believe the same things - that this knucklehead believes in

Now I know for a fact - a certain so & so reads porn
A package sent to him once - was delivered to my door
I didn’t hand it over - no, I kept it to myself
If we should ever have a problem - well, it’s up there on the shelf

There was a Pakistani family - that lived just down the block
As soon as they’d replace the glass someone would throw a rock
I don’t think it was children - though children can be cruel
Whoever it was that did it - they broke the Golden Rule

People read the Times - and they watch the tv news
They receive it like the Gospel - they’ve all fallen for the ruse
They all have their opinions - but none of them have clues
There’s a patriotic silence - there are no dissenting views

The school we have here couldn’t teach a monkey how to climb
And Evie’s neighbor maintains - that to homeschool is a crime
I think she’s a moron - I told Evie on the phone
Tell her it’s none of her goddamned business - in the gentlest of tones

They know him as the garbage man - but I know him as Anthony
Their trash he turns to beauty - some could profit from it handsomely
These little works of art - that he would sprinkle on their lawns
Would end up in the trash again - as soon as people saw ‘em

Katy burned some leaves - and that’s against the law
The cop who showed up first said they had gotten 20 calls
They wrote her a citation - but it just went up in smoke
They put her in a squad car - it made for 20 happy folks

And each 4th of July - it’s the same tin foil parade
Waving from a flatbed - while a band behind them plays
All of our local sponsors - and all the block captains too
Party hats & streamers - all red, white, & blue

But just below the varnish - and under the veneer
Behind the smiling faces - and all of the good cheer
You’ve got your petty jealousies - and all your different feuds
Gossip and suspicions and people who are rude

The sign says “Forest Hills - A Wholesome Kind Of Place”
Now I’m not saying by whom - but it was recently defaced
So let the credits roll - and you can use my song
My guess is that for Hollywood - it’s a few seconds too long