Flab Slab

[Verse 1]
Once there was a boy, quiet, shy
A chubby, sensitive, bookish little guy
He had a real name by which his folks knew him
But Flab Slab is how we'll refer to him
A flab slab, how would we define that?
That'd be like a big flat thick slice of fat
And that's the unfortunate nickname he got
From Randall, the nastiest kid in the sixth grade
Who preyed on Flab Slab's weakness
Mocked his supposed obeseness
He would roll up on him at recess
And call him the name that made him feel deep shame and depressed
Flab Slab was Randall's primary target
And it was quite scary
Eventually, he stopped going out to the playground
And just holed up in the library

[Chorus]
Flab Slab, he mistreats you
You're his victim, he's your tormentor
How much will you stand for?
What do you stand for?
Frightened little awkward boy, sitting, looking at books

[Verse 2]
One day, instead of playing outside
Flab Slab trudged glumly to the lib'
Where displayed prominently he saw
A biog-eraphy of Muhammad Ali
Flab Slab took one look at the book
And after one page he was hooked
He devoured it in a single sittin'
And had an idea that sent his head spinnin'
When he got home, he asked Mom and Pops a question
Could they sign him up for boxing lessons?
He'd never shown any interests in sports before
But they said, "Yes, of course, for sure"
And I'm not gonna go into a montage scene
Where he turns into a lean, mean, fighting machine
He just learned the basics of how to throw a punch
Which made his self-esteem grow a bunch (Hmph!)

[Chorus]
Flab Slab, you have had it
You won't stand it anymore
Take a stand and show 'em what you stand for
What do you stand for?
Fighting lessons and battle skills, learnin' about boxing

[Verse 3]
Weeks passed, Flab Slab biding his time
Training, remaining, and hiding until one faithful day
When the teacher said, "Okay, class, it's time to go play"
Flab Slab's heart was beating at a fast rate
As he walked out with the rest of his classmates
But he felt strong, no anxiety
As he went and he read quietly by a tree
Suddenly, a shadow darkened the page
Flab knew a battle was about to be waged
Randall knocked his novel in the dirt
Pulled him to his feet by the collar of his shirt
Kids gathered 'round like they do when a fight occurs
Randall said, "I'm gonna punch out those lights of yours"
Flab thought of the things he had learned
In the ring, took a swing, and ding, ding, ding
Randall was a goner, Flab Slab stood there dominantly
And as calm as could be
He said "My moniker's an honor to me
Cause it means I'm like Muhammad Ali"
It's F-L-A-B S-L-A-B
Look closely, you'll see it's the initials of
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

[Chorus]
Flab Slab, that name you hated
You reclaimed it, you made it yours
And now we know what you stand for
And so we're finished, later, adios, bye
Sayonara, love, and, break!