Five-Star Motels

I was datin' some girl from Dayton
When I got a little noisy with someone else from Boise
I did some yoga in Saratoga
Wound up with lumbago from San Diego

It got a little clammy one night in Miami
Made me wish again to be back in Michigan
Got too cute that time in Butte
Finally hit my quota in Sarasota

I wanna stop all this frequent flying
Stay clear of those friendly skies
Too tired of all this trying
I need a map to keep track of my lies
No more rental cars
And mini-bars
Macadamia jars
And five-star motels

Had a folly one night in Raleigh
Man it was scenic, on down in Phoenix
I went bonkers in Yonkers
But it was costin' too much in Boston

I wanna shredder this rail pass
Gotta get back on the right side of the track
I wanna switch directions fast
It's just easier to stick to the facts
No more don't tells
And won't tells
I'm done with
These five-star motels

I'm gonna pull the wheels off of this wheel estate
Park it on a pretty piece of land
Find a hometown girl that I can show the world
And tell the boys that I'm leaving the band
I kept a stash
Of petty cash
For a wedding bash
At the finest hotel

We were playin' some bars one night on Mars
When a gal from Pluto lookin' for a little judo
I started to swoon, orbiting her moon
If I lived on Jupiter, I couldn't have been stupider

I can't blame you for what you see
You are light years ahead of me
I messed around with re-entry
We're just not from the same galaxy
It's just the way I am
Sorry ma'am
But I'll be damned to
Five-star....

I won't tell
If you don't tell
It's just as well
In five-star...

There's no hope
It's the way I cope
I stole the soap
From the five-star motel