First Love

First loves don’t leave you, the needles & pins
My phantom limb likes to cry full of gin
She’s a molten mistake, lightning blue at the wake
She just hangs tight

And I meant what I said at the foothills
Won’t you walk me, talk with me, give me tonight
Ancient ruins bullied by sky scraper lights
Hungry & homeless I creep into the glow of it’s

Lonely, dying flame, I think I want to

Be the memory that you turn to
When you’re drunk & your empty ‘cause you’re mine
But at the same time I want to forget you
Take a gun to the mantle
And spin myself into a storm of grey skies
I’ll climb all the trees and I’ll pray for a lightning strike
Tamed into numbness, it’s what I have become since
The person you recognize

First loves conditioned like poisonous fate
With optimism we just contradict
Was I just your mistake, cinnamon to the taste
Bitter but graceful

You know I meant what I said in the moment

But now I’m pendulum sentiments, swaying while I cry
Destined for abattoirs, lovers only live
A penny for your thoughts, I would kill for a kiss

First loves are lethal, dilute all you like
Reticent discontent laboured in stride
Hear the acid rain dripping down the water pipes to the ocean floor

And I meant what I said you’re an angel
You were sent to me, carefully right at the time
That I needed a petal to throw into the fire
Something pretty and impermanent that I could admire