Fernet

To the kids I’m a mystery
Is it twisted the other way around?
I’m not exactly sure how you’d like to picture me
Fiscally irresponsible
Is he balling more than he’s leading on to?
He just pens it like he’s poor
Took the pendant won at war
Never popped the pin or wore it
I just pawned it at the shop
Off the Ave in Neponset
My purple heart is swollen
Along with my liver, kidneys, and jaw
Wish those characteristics were that of my wallet
See I spend a lot of time
Alone inside my mind
But if you sit too long and wonder why it all went wrong
You’ll find those second tries
Simply all pass you by
Your inaction is accurate
Result of why nothing has happened
Simple math I never I got
X axis, wasn’t taught
I would wander off
To melodies of songs
That I wrote in my head
That had attention deficit
While the teacher wrote in chalk
Crumbled tests into balls
I could never graph the line
I was singing about my ex’s at the time
They were taking X pills and dancing with other boys
I am emotionally bankrupt
Collection agencies are the fans that demand more of my aguish
But ain’t listen to the last one
Like, “go back”
I like to think there’s still something there that you can take away from that one
While I bask in all I wish I had done
It’s no happenstance
These raps never accompanied a happy dance
Something wasn’t wonderful
I couldn’t come to grasp
So I gravitated toward the pad
Graduated to the flask
Now they to go hand in hand
Literally got em’ clenched
Not half as proud as I am sad
Breaking cycles for Michael’s unlikely
I’m fighting a plight only I see
Drive north to find peace in the pine trees
Smells like teen spirit
Tastes a lot like depression
Wash it down with spirits
We cheers and toast to our dead friends
Regret is my Fernet
Favorite pallet cleanser
I choke and hold my nose
And no it don’t ever get better
For dessert, we’ll have hollow life lessons
Derailed from my digression
Burned alive in my train of thought
Never found the wreckage
Don’t look for me
For I am not here
Not in the sky nor sending signs
From a fiery hot lair’s
We’ve all got problems
We don’t address em’
Guess you and I are more alike
Than we decide to give ourselves credit for