Feelings and thoughts

I'm sick of all this tiredness and hurt
Suddenly feels like I’m trapped in a curse
Everything is only ever getting worse
And it feels like I'm stuck in this big black hole
My head is spinning and I can't sit still
This demon is winning like 900/0
My mind doesn’t want to shut down at all
And it's constantly making me look like a fool
I'm not gonna lie I feel insecure
But I can't help myself I always ignore
The fact people see the shit I don't
They want me to get help but that I won't
Sometimes I fool them and say that I'm fine
But now they realise it's all a lie
I can’t cover up this guilt this pain
What do u expect when I’m the one to blame
And it's only individuals keeping me sane
If I had been different less of a slut
Things would be different I wouldn’t have cut
The knife wouldn't have gone into my skin
Maybe I'd be less damaged within
I don't like the monster I’ve become
If I were you I'd get up and run
Only saying things people want to hear
You'd think I was fine if u were near
All these feelings I'm going insane
But the person to blame has my name
I feel as though I'm loosing control
The demons seem to be taking my soul
All this time I'm looking for a cure
And the pain is coming back to take more and more
Is it only when u quit the game
That the demons realise u weren't worth the gain