​faith, or lack thereof

Sleepless once again, would rather find meaning instead
Tryna find a purpose, cure my existential dread
I struggle finding faith but I grew up all around it
And if there's someone higher, I'm sorry for not believing

I wanna change my ways
Get some sleep, take on the day
I feel like it's too late
Every second just repeats

I wanna be asked how I'm doing
But I know that I won't answer
I feel so fucking frozen
Every minute, every hour

Are you proud to know me?
Are you happy to resent me?
Wish I wasn't focused
On the way that I present me

Is it so bad that I wanna be something?
I don't fear death, I just fear having nothing

So good night, I wanna dream about the angels
They don't ever judge me, they just wanna keep me stable
They wanna give me hope that better days are coming
And I think I trust them, chasing dreams but I'm not running
No, I'm not running
No, no, I'm not running
No, no, I'm not running
No, no, I'm not running

Running in my head again
Fill up blood inside my pen
You can't step in my domain
In the spaceship, swerving lanes

I don't even wanna talk
I can't stand you when you speak
Sold my soul, I needed cash
That's the second time this week

Home alone
On a mission on my own
Shiny chrome
Falling off the rainbow road