Faded Southern Bellhop

[Verse 1]
When I was a younger man I was a man of no means
But I had some very large dreams
And a healthy fear of nothing
But now time has taught me some humility
And turned some of my humanity
Into apathy

The fishnet stockings that I once wore
Don't fit anymore
And the makeup only makes me look old
If I got up and tried to do that old dance
You'd have to call an ambulance

[Chorus]
'Cause you see, I find myself
A faded Southern bellhop
I define myself in terms of things I failed to do
And I chide myself:
"Self, the only one that you can blame is you,"
And I don't argue

[Verse 2]
'Cause my reputation, once magnificent
Is now worth its weight in excrement
In fashionable circles
And of course they're all pissed off
They came halfway round the world to see me dancing like a girl
And it was quite a disappointment

But I was bruised, but never beaten
Badly chewed, but not quite eaten
I was always far too tasteless
To go down easy

But the fists that fell like rain
Completely failed to cause me pain
It was only the loneliness
When they stopped to finally prove me

[Chorus]
As you see, I find myself
A faded Southern bellhop
I define myself in terms of things I failed to do
And I chide myself:
"Self, the only one that you can blame is you,"
So that's what I do

[Verse 3]
'Cause now there's not much left to do
But acknowledge my decrepitude
And wait for the end to come and
Hope that they remember back when I was worth a damn
When I was more than what I am and maybe more than what I was
But I guess

Either way, I'll leave a legacy
That I will be too dead to see
In the end it's just important to a loving wife and kids
I never had but wish I did
Although it may be for the best
If they persist in not existing

[Chorus]
'Cause you see, I find myself
A faded Southern bellhop
I define myself in terms of things I failed to do
And I chide myself:
"Self, the only one that you can blame is you,"
And I don't argue