Exulansis

Listen to me
They always told me since the day that I was born:
"Love would kill me"
"Friends would fail me"
That's what they tell me
That's what I tell myself
But I don't want to

I've been stuck in my mind
Round and round like it's cycles of laundry
Wrinkle release all my hopes and you know it's all just for me to
Repeat these cycles

I'm not in control
That's what they call a persona switch
And it's personal
And it's purposeful
They have a plan for me
Brick to the wall

And that's not all
I'm truly, sorry to all
Just had to go out and hang out my story
For y'all
Interpret it, Genius

Y'all didn't catch a clue
Sleepovers: dead
Parties are gone
I'm missing the ocean, Kerry, and friends
Weight down my hopes like I'm tied down to lead

I am Saul, I am sorry
Amalekites knock at your door like the voices in here, in my head
Knock at my sanity
Knots in my stomach, again

Tap away at the dike and the flood'll soon follow
See you tomorrow: that's what I say
Sleep off my problems but I ain't tired
But I ain't tired, no

Feel like I'm Holden onto
What's left, and Sunny's left
Things are looking much darker

What's that?
You want to be a part of my life?
Watchu mean, this train wreck?
It's a one-way ticket to getting your heart broken

And your love bashed in
And your streaks on end
And my sweater you like
Back to my closet
This same pain, I cause it
I wish I knew how I could stop it

Did you catch that?
Fingerprints, body in the back of, trunk of, the hatchback
That new Snap girl
Did you match that?
Distraction
Did you catch that?

Nowhere to turn
Cause I burnt this mask off
And these bridges down... a long time ago
Now we out here... finish what's left
Controlled burn