Excuses

[Chorus]
My whole life I've had excuses
And reasons why I do this
Blame my actions on my bruises
Wonder why that I keep losing
Need to learn that what I'm doing
Isn't other people choosing
Getting older and the truth is
Running out of excuses

[Verse 1]
I never went to college I feel like a disappointment
I try to talk to God
But I think I'm just hearing voices
I don't connect with other people how I used to
I don't know if that's a choice
But all I know is I am disappointed
In myself and the person that I have become
I know she loves me
But sometimes she doesn't feel my love
Sometimes it's hard for me to express the way I really feel
Now thats ironic, since I always preach to keep it real
I'm really scared to lose the people that I love the most
And maybe that's why nowadays, I don't let new ones close
It's sad to see the distance running in my blood
I can only pray I'm not the person that my father was
I've only ever met my cousin on my father's side
Took a trip to Philadelphia to meet for the first time
It's crazy the connection
And at that point I realized
You're family is the one who chooses to be in your life
Now that's not to say I've never cut somebody off
I've had to do it twice
I drew a line and it was crossed
Doesn't mean I don't forgive
You're just not worth paying the cost
And I'll leave that up to God to judge if that is right or wrong
I've been a witness
To things I can only ask of God for forgiveness
I've had to make the biggest life decisions in minutes
You've been going through changes
My world changes the quickest
If I could make time-payments
How much is it for minutes?

[Chorus]
My whole life I've had excuses
And reasons why I do this
Blame my actions on my bruises
Wonder why that I keep losing
Need to learn that what I'm doing
Isn't other people choosing
Getting older and the truth is
Running out of excuses

[Verse 2]
(Whoa) I've been looking back through my rearview
It's gonna take more than time to heal you (heal you)
Baby I just wanna see the real you
Sometimes I don't even know the real me
And that's true
How much more can I really give you?
I know we've been working through our issues
Still together after all we've been through
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck on repeat
I spend hundreds of hours on songs I never release
I've been lost for awhile
Where's my inner-peace?
I finally found an open door
I don't know where it leads
I'll keep working 'til I drop or when I succeed
Every time I put a song out, then the stats peak
Then a couple weeks pass, I watch it decrease
I keep growing
But I'll never get enough streams
But I try, so I give you more and more of me
But the more I give to you, the less there is for me
No, they can try
But they'll never take my dignity
I'm casting out the hate
Please fill me with the trinity (trinity)
I've had a lot of questions- searching in my soul
I think It's finally time that I head back home

[Outro]
I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home
(My whole life I've had excuses)
(And reasons why I do this)
I'm going home
(Blame my actions on my bruises)
(Wonder why that I keep losing)
I'm going home
(Need to learn that what I'm doing)
(Isn't other people choosing)
I'm going home
(Getting older and the truth is)
(Running out of excuses)