Exasperated

[Verse 1]
Yeah, I feel like I got no more I've lost it all
And sometimes I feel god don't talk
'Cause I been looking at the sky I been asking the questions
But feel like the answers don't fall
And I don't wanna be a tear in your eye or a problem here
Lost in years of my life constant fear
'Cause I'm thinking if I fail now
How could I bounce back from that
And watch my life flip round like an acrobat
And never once stop working I was certain I could blow
I don't need no person I could do it on my own
Feeling like the world wanna keep at the bottom
Every minute trying to stop me so I'm moving kinda slow
And if I quit now I'd probably be sick living years on my own thinking I will never know
Its like we hope for more
For years I worked hard still they closed the doors
A broken force sometimes I felt close of course
But you never really get what you due
So respect to the people that rated
If you listened and you put me on your playlist
If you gave me time I'm a give you mine
'Cause I ain't got time for these haters
I been sitting on this porch for ages
Spilling out my heart whilst it poured on the pages
They ignored me I hate it thinking I don't wanna be caught in this matrix
But this world it can move so cold and time man it moves so slow
And I be wishing every minute I been spitting someone's living
In the city that can me hear though
And although I came far in ways
When I look I still feel so far away
All I've ever done here is harbour pain
It scarred my brain and put me in a darker place
Guess I'm just cast away now all I wanna do is find a way out
I been trapped living broke in this flat
On my own with these raps surrounded by doubt
I couldn't give much more than I've gave
But I'm sitting at home I should be touring on stage
Days go by weeks turn into months
Then another year goes in the flick of a page
Sick of the games but I ain't trying to stop yet
I ain't trying to be another writer who retired and never drop hits
Never wanted to give his heart and his soul to the music that he wrote
'Cause he lost it when his passion died years ago
'Cause now its all about fashion lies fears have grown
'Cause what we once knew now it's not the same sound out as
The music that we use to hear years ago
Times I was so low, I was raging
Body felt dead but my soul ain't escaping
No one to turn to no one to love
All I got left is my bars and blood
I sweat tears for this for years I gave em all everything I have
Now I'm sitting here just a penny's and a pad
And the truth is at times I ain't never been this mad
'Cause how I feel right now man is crazy
Lately all I wanna do is just quit
But truth is quitting ain't really going to save me
All it's gonna do is make me feel worse off
Sometimes I feel cursed by god
Then I feel like bursting off but what's that gonna change now for a murder cost
When the words are lost looking for a sign and you search a lot
And now I'm feeling like its time I gotta work it up
'Cause I've been giving this my life and I ain't earned enough
Steady thinking is it time should I turn and run
But I don't wanna be that guy so I'm burning up
I give em everything I have but it ain't enough
And when times felt bad man it made it tough
Its like these lyrics turn you mad when you make em up
'Cause I've been sitting with my pad tearing paper up
I just gotta change it round 'cause I'm feeling kinda down on my spirits
Got me out here to win it so I'm telling you now that I'm in it till I'm out
And the curtain comes down and its time on my lyrics