Ex Ray Sky

Her idea of paradise is tropical water islands with white sands
Mine is grey skies and a suicide note on a night stand
I used to get her to crack smiles
She hates my guts, my guts rotting from the inside
Oozing of hate and black bile
She bears cancer in her breath
This girl like the others made me feel complete, but it was a dream in my head
Now I feel obsessed
Not with her but the idea that I was left
I can't lift myself out of bed
There's a hole in my chest where my heart would nest
The rotting egg, but fuck therapy
Depression speaks to my music and lack of energy
And thanks for the cold love
Your idea of concern punched a hole in my chest and froze lungs
No matter how much death, violent sex, and meds I fed up with it won't close up
You wanna help? Hold up
Do me a favor, hold the rest of these pills and put them on the sink while I throw up

(Chorus x2)
You're never coming back, there's no sense in coming back
I'm gone now, and my blood is running black
Ex ray sky dropped tears when the sun was cracked
I'm dead inside, you crushed what was left over, not much intact

I'm in the house crashing from coke
Paranoia got me half naked and choked
Holding the doorknob alone, till schizophrenia spoke
I told my ex I was gonna blow my head off with a shotgun, the shotgun that I hold, with one bullet to load
She was surprisingly distraught over the phone at her job, I hung up and convulsed
The cops came later in vests, detective in a coat
Called me on the phone telling me to calm down, I won't be arrested or roped
I'm trying to get clothed
They rushed me, when I came out, pistols to my face pressed up against my nose
Chest in the dirt, knees in my back out in the cold
Go to the hospital cuffed, nurses came escorted with orderlies and gloves and lifted me up
I swung, spit the juice at his mug, I bit, kicked, and punched
I felt the bugs crawling from the needle that plunged into my leg muscle, and went numb
Dropped like my father when he was drunk, when I was young
And flashbacks struck when I woke up, holding an I.V., rigged the pole, clutched as I crutched
I was snuffed, stuffed, drugged, strung out, black blood drying on the forearms that run
Stains on the ceiling, roommate twitching from ticks in his tongue
Remembering about the neighbor who tried to poison his lunch
I haven't seen the sun
They asked me where the burn marks are from
The body whited the sheets they tied me to
Hospital gown, lime with blue
My face is blank as the panel of doctors I was lying to
Trying to ignore the shadows that still continue to climb the room
Climate's cooled the room cyclothymic womb
Tremors seismic

(Chorus x4)
You're never coming back, there's no sense in coming back
I'm gone now, and my blood is running black
Ex ray sky dropped tears when the sun was cracked
I'm dead inside, you crushed what was left over, not much intact