Everything Stops For Tea

[Intro:]
Yes, hello, hello?
No, I'm sorry, I'm frightfully busy today

Oh, Mr. Baldry, can I have your autograph?
Oh, god, I can't write!
But I've come a long way, oh, shit!
Oh, but it's an equally long way to go back, isn't it?

Oh, Mr. Baldry, can I play you a song of mine?
Oh, must you?
Uh, yes, I really must
Oh, go on, then

Yes, it's awfully good, Mr. Lemon
Oh, well use it on your new album!
Uh, I don't know, I-I'll have to call you
I-I'm sorry, I've got the phone in the other
In... the other phone going
Yes, hello, hello?
No, I'm sorry, I'm just being driven completely up the wall today
I just can't cope, I'm sorry!

Here's your tea, Mr. Baldry
Ohh, bless your heart, thank you!

[Song:]

Every nation in creation has its favorite drink
France is famous for its wine; it's beer in Germany
Turkey has its coffee, and they serve it blacker than ink
Russians go for vodka, and England loves its tea

Oh, the factory may be roaring
With a boomalacka, zoomalacka, whee
But there isn't any roar when the clock strikes four
Everything stops for tea

Oh, a lawyer in the courtroom
In the middle of an alimony plea
Has to stop and help 'em pour when the clock strikes four
Everything stops for tea

It's a very good English custom
Though the weather be cold or hot
When you need a little pick-up, you'll find a little teacup
Will always hit the spot

You remember Cleopatra
She had a date to meet Mark Antony at three
But he came an hour late she said, "You'll have to wait"
'Cause everything stops for tea

Now, they may be playing football
And the crowd is shouting "Kill the referee!"
But no matter what the score, when the clock strikes four
Everything stops for tea

Now, the golfer may be golfing
And is just about to make a hole-in-three
It always gets them sore when the clock strikes four
Cause everything stops for tea

It's a very good English custom
And a stimulant for the brain
When you feel a little weary, a cup will make you cheery
And it's cheaper than champagne

Now I know just why Franz Schubert
Didn't finish his unfinished symphony
He would have written more but the clock struck four
And everything stops for tea