Everybody’s Been Defeated

I went through boxes of shit and threw out all of my photo albums
Cause memories im no longer a part of became the outcome
Pictures of people in my past
Who either tore my heart apart or started friendships that didn't last
I didn't ask for any of this emptiness
And broken promises and false confidence ever since we kissed
From the ex one to the next one
Im left a mess from the vortex that I receive checks from
And you can purchase my pain for an ornament
And a click of the button buys you the things that im hoarded with
And maybe you could relate and feel the same too?
But my job's to make you feel my pain, so I blame you
As an emotional wreck I gain acceptance
With altered perceptions, the very essence of false friendships
Cause to them im just a character
You're doomed to be the elephant in the room when everybody stares at ya
But you don't care about my real feelings
Im left with sores from whores, behind closed doors, under hotel ceilings
My whole life I thought thirty was old
And now my elders call me peer, and all my peers are grown
And this is all the shit im dealing with
I stopped getting carded at the store, but still I feel like a kid
I try my best to blend in but I couldn't conform
Cause everybody's been defeated since the day they were born

Dig it...
Its real life!
Everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
Everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
Everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
Everybody's been defeated since the day they were born

My fascination of past relations fill my imagination;
And how you eject a peice of your soul during ejaculation
A constant battle of sex versus masturbation;
How one invests emotion, the other promotes procrastination
I took a detour on the path of righteousness
Living reckless, shit im even driving while im writing this
Cause on the road you got time to think
My mind's a machine gun on a lined sheet combined with ink
With a pain I can't describe, im feeling trapped inside
This personal prison with all the things that im prescribed
Shit, remember the time that you made me breakfast?
Now you're on the checklist of exes I had sex with
A broken nexus, you stole my soul with a french kiss
So fuck a text bitch, and by the way I broke your necklace
I haven't thought about you or talked about you in a minute
The days turn into years and not one of us benefitted
And spite could last lifetimes and none of us win
We expected too much of each other, shit we're supposed to be friends
And time passed by and now we're both aging
You died in my heart, but the memories are still remaining
You're just a reflection of all my childhood pain
Sittin on the porch waiting for my father who never came
I created a fantasy world that he was always present in;
And taught me how to be a man so I don't feel feminine
Im ashamed of all the feelings inside I kept hid
I was forced to be the man of the house, I was never a kid
But fuck it, I don't need a sympathy buddy
Im just digging up the past like a psychological study
Im waiting for the miracle to come
You know, the grand finale
These doctors got these drugs living my life without me
Like im a passenger in my own life, im not steering
Theres too many things about the world that im fearing;
Like im a prisoner in my own brain
Im in it alone, I was born alone and things won't change
Jealousy fills me when I see the things I never had
Maybe some self esteem and a happy home with a mom and dad
My mom never wanted anything for too long
As a child she loved me but when I was grown I had to get gone
And though my life is torn, I got no time to mourn
Cause everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
Yeah...
And everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
And everybody's been defeated
And though my life is torn, I got no time to mourn
Cause everybody's been defeated since the day they were born
And though my life is torn, I got no time to mourn
Cause everybody's been defeated since the day they were born