Everybody Gets One For Free

I talk to the waitress
Yeah she was pretty hot
She gave me her number
But that's all I got

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Started a conversation
About the United Nations
Had to use imagination
She was talking about reincarnation

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Stayed up all night drinking
When I should've been home
Had a vision of the blessed virgin
Butt now I'm not sure at all

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Miguel Urbiztondo
Backstage New Year's Eve
When the policeman came to look for him
He said "What the fuck do you know?"

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

She from the Inland Empire
Her dad was an umpire
Her mama was a go-go dancer
Everybody got in for free

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I know that our last record
Didn't do very well
But now we're back on the block
With our freedom rock?

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

The Montreal policeman
Wouldn't get off his ass
So all your shit was stolen
What's the matter with that?

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I got a yellow carnation
I got some Kevlar pants
I got a new American Century
Do the freedom-hater's dance

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

I was driving in my car
It was filled up with yams
For no obvious reason
That's just who I am

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Everybody gets one, everybody gets one for free
Everybody gets one, everybody 'cept for me

Last call
Find the one

Everybody gets one
Everybody gets one 'cept for me
Everybody gets one 'cept for me
'cept for me