Even Steven

[Intro]
Why do white people sorta throw shade at each other?
Um, probably if I had to sum it up in my view
It’s ‘cause there’s only so many spots
What’s wrong, Steven?
I’m sensing some weird energy from you

[Verse 1]
Nolan Ryan, first team, what the fuck is happening
I’m pretty sure that I’m the only All American
Got the whole game screaming “Hoodie stop talking”
‘Cause underneath, you’d rather be Pippi Longstocking
And it’s ironic that you say I got the little league fans
Bro your shows, I swear they look just like a middle school dance
Just face it, if you can’t see that get LASIK
Don’t think you’re gonna make it
Everything you said is baseless, you’re basic
I bet that’s why more than one half of your fan base still has braces
‘Cause I haven’t seen so many 12 year olds come out the woodwork since Sandusky’s basement
Man this Twitter shit is getting absurd
I can’t believe you turned my timeline into revenge of the nerds
Steven, you a jackass like Wee Man
Running from all of your demons
Always been the odd kid out, that's tryna get even
But you peaking, homie it’s mine
If you don’t know now, then you know it in time
You don’t know your facts like coke in the trash
Most of your track was throwaway lines
(What do you get when you guzzle down cum?)
Hoodie Allen’s voice when he's singing a song
Oompa loompa doopity doo
If I saw you in public then what would you do? (nothing)
(Steven, you are being an asshole)
Making rape jokes, that’s classy
If you ain’t know just ask me
Not sure if you followed the story at Duke
But the ones who were raped weren't athletes
And you said the only full ride I get is if I hop on your dick
But bro it’s public knowledge, I had a full scholarship

[Interlude]
I mean the amount of irony here is pure comedy
You worked for Google, just google this stuff next time
I mean it’s flat out inaccurate
(He’s always taken things too seriously)

[Verse 2]
Let me get this straight
Are you tryna say that I’m stupid?
I graduated from Duke
Which is ranked the same as the school that you in
That’s UPenn, now that’s stupid
(Oh man, Steve you’re better than that)
When you diss track, you better spit facts when you going at me
See I don’t understand why you’re bringing up age
When, bro you are older than me
And it seems pretty clear that I struck a nerve
Calling me a creep, but you’re named yourself after a fucking perv

[Interlude]
I guess you were just never cut out for Google
I mean take ten minutes out of your day
Do a little background check before you pull the trigger
On a named based off Woody Allen
It's just a horse shit read
(It’s just skin, Steven)

[Verse 3]
Are you really tryna say that I still live at home?
It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot you didn’t know
And all this really taught me is that you’re a fucking amateur
You talking ‘bout my mom, but bro your dad’s your fucking manager
‘Bout to fly by like a speeding car
You’re not a star
You look like you should work at a Genius bar
You’re a dork
And honestly, I really liked your song to me
It sucks that you can’t sing at all
‘Cause you look like you belong on Glee
Don’t test me, you fucking around with the wrong athlete
So take that backseat
You belong in Silicon Valley
‘Cause clearly you still got a thing for computers
You’ve tweeted 145,000 times (loser)

[Interlude]
You know Steve, you only live once man
Stop staring at your fucking twitter
Go outside, I know you don’t turn up
But why don't you go have a fucking picnic or something

[Verse 4]
Okay sports reference, short reference
Maybe you shoud try another search engine
Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves, it’s really your preference
And I really don’t get this, you’re reckless
You hit me up like two weeks ago
Saying “yo Mike I fuck with your message”
You’re a nitwit, and a hypocrite
And I’m sick of it, you got no friends
You could go to the World Cup and still have no one to kick it with
You’re ridiculous, and all you do is call your fans
‘Cause when you call your friends, all you get is crickets bitch

[Outro]
This is where the healing begins
(First unheard message)
Hi Mike, it’s your mother
I had the Geek Squad over here earlier
I guess one of the guys who came here, Hoodie, Steven
I don’t even know his name
He’s upstairs sniffing through your clothes
He’s putting your jockstrap on his head
He’s acting like a nutcase
This guys seems really obsessive
He found your yearbook
He’s rifling through it, I’m a little nervous
He was even asking for baby pictures
I think he wants to see your ding-a-ling