Escape From Robot Island

(feat. MNP)

ROBOT:
Escape
Escape

LARS:
August 4th, 1990, kicking it across the bay
When we went straight to that island on that momentous day
To explore it, not ignore it, like Christopher C
MNP and Lars H, pioneers adrift at sea
And so we went ashore, knowing not what was in store
'Till there came a crazy noise that we could not ignore
Fourteen robo-primates, they came straight for us
Nasty and ugly, like a zit brimming with puss
So we hopped into our boat, hoping it would float
'Till we found a robo-monkey had chewed it like a goat
And a big hole remained at the bottom of our craft
As it began to sink, the robo-creatures laughed
Then out of the woods came more robots by the dozens -
Daddies, mommies, aunts, and uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and cousins…;
Whole robo-families, thirsting for blood
Vampiric evil machines caked in oil, grease, and mud

LARS & MNP:
Escape from Robot Island
We'll take them to the desert, trip their circuits and fry them
Can't stay in Robot Island
These robots are maniacal, I'll sweep them up and hide them
Get out of Robot Island
Don't want to be your robo-lunch, your robo-canned-food-blend
Delete Robot Island
You evil R2D2’s, now it's time to meet your end

MNP:
What's that you say, boy haven't you heard?
Call me a stupid-ass white boy, flip me the bird?
I want to smack you right now in the face
But they're locked on me, stalking this place
Today has been a scary day
These robots they don't want to play
Their bodies are metallic gray
Their wires look like plastic hay
These robots chased us through the night
Everybody knows that I put up a fight
To the different kinds, they blow my mind
Giant eyeball watching me reading my mind
There are fury ones with blades coming out of their fur
Robots riding chariots just like Ben-Hur
A ton that will toss you in a chasm
Balls that drill you like in Phantasm
Tall ones, short ones, round ones, long ones
Little ones, green ones, right ones, wrong ones
Batteries not included, these things attack
Model ZX goes for your sack
Big metal teeth ain't too friendly
Mechanical death? That's not for me!
All the different Doomsday Machines
We have to stop them with live-or-die means
They have their cold metallic hearts
Soulless just like Kinkade's art
We need to learn to play the part
Getting out alive is where we'll start
Saving ourselves. See, that is our mission
Like I'm running from the firm in the novel by Grisham
Or Tommyknockers, by Mr. King
On the run, and this ain't no dream

LARS & MNP:
Escape from Robot Island
We'll take them to the desert, trip their circuits and fry them
Can't stay in Robot Island
These robots are maniacal, I'll sweep them up and hide them
Get out of Robot Island
Don't want to be your robo-lunch, your robo-canned-food-blend
Delete Robot Island
You evil R2D2’s, now it's time to meet your end

MNP:
Hiding out on the tree house floor
Evil bots knocking at the door
LARS:
We climbed up here to get away
And we've been stuck all night and day
MNP:
We built a gun, quadruple barreled
Quiver filled with acid arrows
LARS:
There was a chainsaw that we found
Like Ash we wielded it around
MNP:
We used it like a robot shank
Little did we know the chain would break
LARS:
We had a copper melting pot
Filled with oil very hot
MNP:
It burned right through the wooden planks
They climbed up and they said "Thanks."
LARS:
They want violence, not harmless pranks
MNP:
Run, Lars, run, just like Tom Hanks
ROBOT:
Foolish humans, time to die
We'll gobble you up like ham on rye
LARS:
We've done everything that we can do;
It was up to me, now it's up to you
MNP:
The arrows, we still have those
Let's fire them and see how it goes
ROBOT:
Foolish humans, that won't work
We'll get you both, prepare to hurt
Your blood will drip, your blood will spurt
And you'll be six feet under dirt
MNP:
So this is what it feels like being the prey?
The early 'bot gets the human, or so they say
LARS:
Wait! It's time to die? I don't want to go yet!
I never went to Russia or owned a private jet
I never kissed a lion or went bowling nude
I've never gone hang gliding or had hamster food
MNP:
Pull yourself together, man, you're getting me annoyed
Let's not go out in shame! Let's go out shooting droids
You forgot about my Remington taped to my Smith and Wesson
My aim is next to perfect, let's teach these things a lesson
Stop!
ROBOT:
No!
LARS:
Shoot!
MNP:
Yes, I'm about to do it
LARS:
Go!
MNP:
Ha!
LARS:
Nice, but we're not half-way through it
There's eight-hundred more, and you've only got two bullets
MNP:
If anyone can make it, MNP and Lars can do it
LARS:
You're right MNP, let's overcome our fears
Machines won't run humanity like twisted engineers

LARS & MNP:
Escape from Robot Island
We'll take them to the desert, trip their circuits and fry them
Can't stay in Robot Island
These robots are maniacal, I'll sweep them up and hide them
Get out of Robot Island
Don't want to be your robo-lunch, your robo-canned-food-blend
Delete Robot Island
You evil R2D2’s, now it's time to meet your end

ROBOT:
Escape from Robot Island
Escape from Robot Island
Escape from Robot Island
Escape from Robot Island